December 2018, I got sick and had to see the doctor.
While running a few tests, they brought out the scale, and I weighed in.
Shocking! The scale showed about 6kg more than my usual weight.
“What?!” I screamed, got down, and stepped back on the scale. Alas, it was the same.
I had gained weight.
It wasn’t that I hadn’t noticed. I actually had.
When high-waist denim pants start to feel like low-waist.
When pants that once needed a belt now stay up on their own.
Of course, you know you’re adding pounds.
But I hadn’t realized it was that much.
Numbers make a difference. When weight is just a feeling, it’s vague. But when it’s measured, it’s real.
Oh well, it was the holidays. I told myself I wouldn’t let this ruin the season for me and my family, so I tried to put it behind me.
January came, and the pounds had to go. What would I need to do?
Make changes. Yes. Turn a new leaf if I wanted better.
In a Marriage Relationship…
Daily, deliberately compare how much you criticize your partner’s actions and inactions to how many times you appreciate them.
Put them side by side.
Do this daily – start today – and see what the results are.
Being critical and judgmental is a habit easily formed. You may not truly see how bad it is until you do the numbers.
Get a scale, get a measuring tape, and do the math today.
Once you allow one little criticism in your heart and then out of your mouth at your partner, that tiny bit will demand another of its kind to survive.
Criticism feeds on more criticism. And so you continue to give it what it’s demanding.
Have you ever had a very judgmental and critical boss? Have you?
If you have, then you understand what I’m talking about.
A boss that notices only what is undone, not what’s been done.
A boss that calls you out for your mistakes but never appreciates your wins.
A boss that constantly gives off the “you-are-never-enough” energy.
If you’ve worked under such a boss, then you know how it feels.
You know how much their words drained you.
You know how it made you less excited to work.
You know how it made you resent them.
In a marriage relationship, criticism does the same thing – it drains, it weakens, it frustrates, it builds resentment.
Don’t let your words kill your partner’s love for you.
Instead of being critical, make the switch – become appreciative.
You’d be surprised how much difference a simple “thank you” can make.