Teaching about marriage and spending time counseling married couples have taught me that there are indeed great marriages.

There are married couples who are fulfilled in their marriage relationship, while there are marriages that are ongoing but full of uncertainty, fear, loss of connection. Simply mediocre, but they remain married and go on as the days go by.

Why do some couples have great, happy and fulfilling marriages?

Here are a few pointer.

  • They are Intentional and Conscious: Couples with great marriages are quite deliberate at loving their partner.

    They refuse to give up on being conscious of their spouse just because life took over right after the wedding and euphoric feeling of love subsides.

    They do not wait on their spouse to make the first move, they just go ahead and make the move anyways.

    They call, they send text mesaages. They say, ‘I love you.’

    They know that they can contribute to  making their marriage better and so they go ahead without waiting on their spouse to make the first move.

    They keep the active consciousness of their spouse in their heart and so are able to think at all time what’s best for their spouse.

  • They Look to Serve their Mate: Marriage is not about fighting for your right but about fighting and serving your spouse.

    Great marriages consist of couples who are focused on serving their spouse. Great marriages consist of ‘servers.’

    Because they are conscious of their spouse, they can serve their spouse just the right way that their spouse does need.

    They are always looking for ways to make life easier for their mate.

  • They Cherish Their Partner: They do not try to change their partner, rather they accept him or her for who he/she is.

    They show of their partner and allow them be all that they can be.

    They show support for their partner’s growth. Such that their partner is less afraid to achieve great feats.

    They give value to their spouse always and allow them know that they are cherished and appreciated

  • They are not Afraid to be Vulnerable: Couples who are unafraid to accept that they may be imperfect will create deeper connection with their partner.

    Couples who are not afraid to be wrong, or even apologize when they are right will have a lot more meaningful relationship with their spouse.

    Couples who are not afraid to address and speak about their baggage will appreciate their healing thereby appreciating their marriage.

    They are self aware, unafraid to be real, and are able to address every emotional garbage preventing them from connecting deeply with their spouse. And they seek for healing, constantly working on themselves.

  • They View Marriage as a Unit: Couples with great marriages see each other as one.

    They think of each other before making decisions, they are unselfish. They do not make their marriage all about them.

    You will connect with people when life stops being about you. And you end up receiving what you give.

    For such couples it is OUR CAR, OUR HOUSE, OUR PREGNANCY, OUR MONEY, OUR BUSINESS as opposed to my car, my house…

  • They are Open to and Willing to Learn: Couples with great marriages are ready to learn and better themselves.

    They are willing to be a better wife/husband than they were yesterday.

    They are curious to know more about their partner and are able to know how to love their spouse.

    They give themselves to seeking knowledge to better their relationship and they take actions to see result.

    They willingly give their time, focus, attention, love and energy and end up with deep, meaningful connection with their spouse.

  • They Have Regular Sex: Great marriage have couples who know that sex is important to their relationship. They have sex well enough to know how to fulfill their partner. They practice ,and practice is known to  make progress.

    They understand that their spouse may be built differently and focus on giving each other pleasure and home coming with every sexual experience.

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