WHY SOME COUPLES HAVE GREAT MARRIAGES AND OTHERS, MEDIOCRE

Teaching about marriage and spending time counseling married couples have taught me that there are indeed great marriages.

There are married couples who are fulfilled in their marriage relationship, while there are marriages that are ongoing but full of uncertainty, fear, and loss of connection – simply mediocre. Yet, they remain married and go on as the days go by.

Why do some couples have great, happy, and fulfilling marriages?

Here are a few pointers:

1. They Are Intentional and Conscious

Couples with great marriages are deliberate about loving their partner.

They refuse to give up on being conscious of their spouse just because life took over after the wedding and the euphoric feeling of love subsided.

They do not wait for their spouse to make the first move; they go ahead and make the move themselves.

They call, they send text messages, and they say, “I love you.”

They know they can contribute to making their marriage better, so they take the initiative rather than waiting for their spouse.

They keep their spouse in mind and always think about what’s best for them.

2. They Look to Serve Their Mate

Marriage is not about fighting for your rights but about fighting for and serving your spouse.

Great marriages consist of couples who focus on serving each other.

Because they are conscious of their spouse, they can serve them in ways that truly matter.

They are always looking for ways to make life easier for their partner.

3. They Cherish Their Partner

They do not try to change their partner; instead, they accept them for who they are.

They showcase their partner and allow them to be all they can be.

They support their partner’s growth, making them less afraid to achieve great feats.

They give value to their spouse and constantly let them know they are cherished and appreciated.

4. They Are Not Afraid to Be Vulnerable

Couples who accept their imperfections create deeper connections.

Those who are not afraid to be wrong—or even apologize when they are right—have more meaningful relationships.

Couples who openly address and speak about their emotional baggage appreciate their healing and, in turn, appreciate their marriage.

They are self-aware, unafraid to be real, and constantly work on themselves to strengthen their relationship.

5. They View Marriage as a Unit

Couples with great marriages see each other as one.

They think of each other before making decisions and are unselfish. Their marriage is not just about them as individuals.

They share everything—our car, our house, our pregnancy, our money, our business—rather than focusing solely on personal ownership.

6. They Are Open and Willing to Learn

Couples with great marriages are eager to learn and improve.

They strive to be better spouses than they were yesterday.

They stay curious about their partner and learn how to love them better.

They seek knowledge to improve their relationship and take action to see results.

They willingly invest their time, focus, attention, love, and energy, leading to a deep, meaningful connection with their spouse.

7. They Have Regular Sex

Great marriages include couples who understand the importance of sex in their relationship.

They are intentional about fulfilling each other and practice enough to improve intimacy.

They recognize that their spouse may have different needs and focus on giving pleasure while ensuring that every sexual experience strengthens their bond.