THE LIES WE TELL OURSELVES

We often crave for what we do not have and at times, at the expense of what we are blessed with!

The common thought is “If only I can have that, I’ll be very happy, I’ll be okay! I won’t be worrying like I am doing now.”

It is that easy to lie to oneself, and internalize these lies. It begins to direct our attitude and finally our actions.

Fola, an annoyingly handsome married man, with two kids, a boy and girl. A successful Investment banker, complains of the chaos in his home each time he returns.

He would always fight his wife for not keeping the kids away from him so he could have time to relax and have clear business thoughts.

Because most times he brought work home, he desires some peace and quietness. That, he deserves!

He works hard all day, he’s not asking for too much if all he wanted is an alone time, at his house. The constant cries, fighting between the kids are not a thing he wants to deal with.

Without acknowledging it, Fola would only want to be a father when it is convenient for him, but the time he is home isn’t a convenient period, mostly.

He started to secretly see this young lady from work and, on the weekends, he will drives down to her house just so heacan void the noise and disturbances at home.

At the least, there in her ‘chaos less’ apartment hhe can ‘luxuriate’ with his mistress peacefully and quietly.

Down same street is Tade and his wife of 5years are childless, they have tried IVF twice and it all failed. They have tried every prayer house they can and things seem the same. Tade often find himself sneaking off to his ex-girlfriend’s house for a family time. His ex has a 10-year-old daughter, a daughter he had for Tade while they dated, before he met his wife.

Tade craves for a family with a child or two, Vivi and their 10year old daughter seem to give him just that. Pangs of guilt ain’t stronger than his desires for a family, he grew up an only child.

He’ll often leave his saddened wife at home at the slightest chance he gets to be with his daughter, and to the ever waiting arms of Vivi his ex who obviously wants him back. Before long, he started to cheat on his loving wife and it hurts him to think of. He never thought he had it in him to sleep with another woman.

Meanwhile far away in another part of the city, Morenikeji complains of lack of attention from her busy business man hubby. Yes he provides everything and more for her but to her money isn’t everything.

She craves a man who cares, a husband who sees her, notices her, who knows when she’s sick, discerns when she’s happy or sad. And not call her needy, she wants him to notice without being told when she adorns a new dress or has her hair done, and do not hesitate to throw her compliments. She wants him to notice her presence and not treat her like one of his properties.

She wants her husband to be there for her physically, emotionally and spiritually! She has complained frequently that she decided to stop talking and start to “take care of herself”.

She met a younger guy in whom she takes solace in. Ekeng isn’t rich and doesn’t live in a rich neighborhood like Morenikeji but she sees no trouble driving down to his neighborhood just to spend time with him in his one room apartment.

She seems to love the simplicity of his life and the fact that Ekeng thinks she is the most beautiful woman on earth, to crown it, he tells her all the time.

Once she’s around, nothing or no one else matters. Morenikeji also loves that he puts her first, truly listen to her blab away. And above all, makes love to her soul.

But then, Bibiana, another house wife who lives across the street is frustrated, in despair, irritated by the fact that her “looser” of a husband has not been able to keep a job.  He is so poor, she couldn’t even afford the latest hair extension she saw at the shopping mall on her last birthday. She is finally tired of trying to cover for him with both of their parents. Tired of spending her meager earnings on the family, she is tired of seeing other women afford to wear gold while she wears mere fashion jewelries.

So through a mutual friend, she met Nick, a rich business man who is very ready to give her everything money can buy as far as she would be his escort and warm his bed anytime he’s in town.

Nick isn’t as romantic, caring and loving as Jed her hubby but he dishes out enough dollar that his attitude towards her is…..what? Oh well, nothing, none!

Nick makes love to her like she is his slave, he enjoys her cries. While she cringes in horrifying pain, he pounds away, and once he’s done, he throws money at her like some cheap wh*re.

Jed could never bear to see her suffer like that, Jed is a careful lover, and he takes his time on her body until she begs for him.

But what can poor Bibiana do? What other choice does she have?

She would always tell herself that she did what shehhad to do. She has to look classy to claim class, so she is not looked down on.

So it’s okay to take Nick’s brutality as long as the money flows and no one knows.

BEWARE OF THE LIES YOU TELL…

We live what we tell ourselves.

What do we, human beings want? What do you think you need to make you happy?

What really makes a person happy?

The simple fact that these people chose to fight alone instead of with their partner they chose what they thought would give them the happiness they crave.

And in a way, they destroy the relationship they already have.

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